The Almighty, Unquestionably Divine,

2. What’s your fairy name? (If it ends in “Boetie,” you’re already losing points.)

3. Describe your aura in three words. (“Moody, beige, tired” = automatic fail.)

4. How many kilograms of glitter can you inhale before complaining? (Bonus if you call it “breakfast.”)

5. What’s your emergency apology ritual when you forget her midnight snack?

6. Write a haiku praising Tinkerbell’s superiority. [i]

7. What’s your strategy for surviving her sass without crying into your Klippies?

8. If she turns you into a frog, how will you prove your loyalty? (Shakespearean frog sonnet? Interpretive dance?)

9. What’s your cabinet position under Supreme Ruler Tinkerbell? (Minister of Snacks & Storms is currently vacant.)

10. What’s your signature entrance line when arriving in a puff of pixie dust?

11. What’s scarier:

12. What’s your snack protocol when hosting the Fairy Queen? (Failure to mention berries = exile.)

13. How would you describe her laugh? (Wrong answers: “cute,” “girlish,” “mouse-like.” Right answers: “weaponized joy.”)

14. What’s your fairy-safe pickup line? (No “Did it hurt when you fell…” nonsense.)

15. How many compliments per hour can you deliver without sounding desperate? (Minimum: 7. Maximum: infinity.)

16. What’s your plan for keeping up with her at a fairy rave? (Include hydration strategy and glitter containment.)

17. What’s your respectful greeting when she enters the room? (Clapping is mandatory. Kneeling optional but encouraged.)

18. What’s your fairy-safe exit line when she’s done with you? (Hint: “Thank you for the privilege” works.)

19. What’s your one-sentence pitch for why you deserve her orbit? (No CVs. No humblebrags. Just magic.)

20. Final oath (tick all that apply):